לוּלֵ֣י ת֭וֹרָתְךָ שַׁעֲשֻׁעָ֑י אָ֝֗ז אָבַ֥דְתִּי בְעָנְיִֽי׃
Kung ang Iyong Torah ay hindi naging aking kaluguran, nalipol na sana ako sa aking kapighatian.
Eikhah Rabbah
“Remember my affliction and my anguish, wormwood and gall” (Lamentations 3:19).
“Remember my affliction and my anguish [umrudi]” – the congregation of Israel says before the Holy One blessed be He: Master of the universe, remember the afflictions with which I was afflicted, the rebellion [umrudi] that I carried out against You, and the suffering with which You sated me, “wormwood and gall.” These are expiated by those.
“You will remember, and my soul is despondent within me” (Lamentations 3:20).
“You will remember” – Rabbi Ḥiyya taught: This is analogous to a king who went out to war. His sons were with him and were provoking him. The next day, the king went out alone and his sons were not with him. The king said: If only my sons were with me, even if they would be provoking me. So too, the king is the Holy One blessed be He, and His sons are Israel. When Israel would go out to war, the Holy One blessed be He would go out with them. When they angered Him, He did not go out with them. But when Israel was no longer in the Land [of Israel], He said: If only Israel was with Me, even if they would be angering Me. We have three verses: “Would that I would be in the wilderness, in a wayfarers’ lodging place” (Jeremiah 9:1); would that My people be with Me as they were at the outset, when they were in the wilderness.46This is expounded from the term for lodging place [melon], which is similar to the word for complaining [malinim], used to describe the Israelites’ complaints in the wilderness (see Numbers 14:27) (Etz Yosef). And it is written: “Son of man, the house of Israel dwelled in their land…” (Ezekiel 36:17).47The verse continues: “They defiled it in their way and by their doings; their way before Me was as the impurity of a menstruating woman.” The implication is that despite the impurity, God wants them “before Me.” And this, “You will remember, and My soul is despondent within Me.”
Rabbi Yudan said: “You will remember” – I know that You remember the nations of the world.48You remember what they did to me and You will punish them. But what can I do, “my soul is despondent within me.” The parable says: Until the fat one grows lean, the soul of the lean one expires.
“This I will reply to my heart; therefore I have hope” (Lamentations 3:21).
“This I will reply to my heart; therefore I have hope” – Rabbi Abba bar Kahana said in the name of Rabbi Yoḥanan: To what is this matter analogous? To a king who married a noblewoman and wrote for her a very substantial marriage contract, saying to her: ‘I will prepare for you such and such number of wedding canopies, and I am giving you such and such number of gowns of purple wool.’ The king left her and went to a country overseas, and he was delayed there. Her neighbors came to her and were teasing her and saying to her: ‘The king left you, went to a country overseas, and he is not going to return to you.’ She was crying and sighing. When she would enter her house, she would take her marriage contract and read it. She would see in her marriage contract: I will prepare such and such number of wedding canopies, and I am giving you such and such number of gowns of purple wool, and she would be immediately comforted. Ultimately, the king came. He said to her: ‘My daughter, I am astonished, how did you wait for me all those years?’ She said to him: ‘My lord, the king, were it not for the substantial marriage contract that you wrote and gave to me, my neighbors would have caused my demise.’ So too, idolaters provoke Israel and say to them: ‘Your God has concealed His face from You and caused His Divine Presence to depart from you. He will never return to you.’ They cry and sigh. When they enter the synagogues and study halls, read the Torah, and find that it is written: “I will turn to you, and make you fruitful.… I will place My Sanctuary in your midst.… I will walk in your midst” (Leviticus 26:9, 11–12), they are comforted. Tomorrow, when the end of the redemption comes, the Holy One blessed be He will say to Israel: ‘My children, I am astonished over you, how did you wait for Me all those years?’ They will say before Him: ‘Master of the universe, were it not for Your Torah that You gave us, the nations would have caused our demise.’ That is why it is stated: “This (zot) I will reply to my heart,” and zot is nothing other than Torah, as it is stated: “And this [vezot] is the Torah” (Deuteronomy 4:44). Likewise, David said: “Had Your Torah not been my delight, I would have perished in my affliction” (Psalms 119:92). “Therefore I have hope” in Him, and we proclaim the unity of His name twice daily and say: “Hear Israel, the Lord is our God, the Lord is one” (Deuteronomy 6:4).
“Remember my affliction and my anguish [umrudi]” – the congregation of Israel says before the Holy One blessed be He: Master of the universe, remember the afflictions with which I was afflicted, the rebellion [umrudi] that I carried out against You, and the suffering with which You sated me, “wormwood and gall.” These are expiated by those.
“You will remember, and my soul is despondent within me” (Lamentations 3:20).
“You will remember” – Rabbi Ḥiyya taught: This is analogous to a king who went out to war. His sons were with him and were provoking him. The next day, the king went out alone and his sons were not with him. The king said: If only my sons were with me, even if they would be provoking me. So too, the king is the Holy One blessed be He, and His sons are Israel. When Israel would go out to war, the Holy One blessed be He would go out with them. When they angered Him, He did not go out with them. But when Israel was no longer in the Land [of Israel], He said: If only Israel was with Me, even if they would be angering Me. We have three verses: “Would that I would be in the wilderness, in a wayfarers’ lodging place” (Jeremiah 9:1); would that My people be with Me as they were at the outset, when they were in the wilderness.46This is expounded from the term for lodging place [melon], which is similar to the word for complaining [malinim], used to describe the Israelites’ complaints in the wilderness (see Numbers 14:27) (Etz Yosef). And it is written: “Son of man, the house of Israel dwelled in their land…” (Ezekiel 36:17).47The verse continues: “They defiled it in their way and by their doings; their way before Me was as the impurity of a menstruating woman.” The implication is that despite the impurity, God wants them “before Me.” And this, “You will remember, and My soul is despondent within Me.”
Rabbi Yudan said: “You will remember” – I know that You remember the nations of the world.48You remember what they did to me and You will punish them. But what can I do, “my soul is despondent within me.” The parable says: Until the fat one grows lean, the soul of the lean one expires.
“This I will reply to my heart; therefore I have hope” (Lamentations 3:21).
“This I will reply to my heart; therefore I have hope” – Rabbi Abba bar Kahana said in the name of Rabbi Yoḥanan: To what is this matter analogous? To a king who married a noblewoman and wrote for her a very substantial marriage contract, saying to her: ‘I will prepare for you such and such number of wedding canopies, and I am giving you such and such number of gowns of purple wool.’ The king left her and went to a country overseas, and he was delayed there. Her neighbors came to her and were teasing her and saying to her: ‘The king left you, went to a country overseas, and he is not going to return to you.’ She was crying and sighing. When she would enter her house, she would take her marriage contract and read it. She would see in her marriage contract: I will prepare such and such number of wedding canopies, and I am giving you such and such number of gowns of purple wool, and she would be immediately comforted. Ultimately, the king came. He said to her: ‘My daughter, I am astonished, how did you wait for me all those years?’ She said to him: ‘My lord, the king, were it not for the substantial marriage contract that you wrote and gave to me, my neighbors would have caused my demise.’ So too, idolaters provoke Israel and say to them: ‘Your God has concealed His face from You and caused His Divine Presence to depart from you. He will never return to you.’ They cry and sigh. When they enter the synagogues and study halls, read the Torah, and find that it is written: “I will turn to you, and make you fruitful.… I will place My Sanctuary in your midst.… I will walk in your midst” (Leviticus 26:9, 11–12), they are comforted. Tomorrow, when the end of the redemption comes, the Holy One blessed be He will say to Israel: ‘My children, I am astonished over you, how did you wait for Me all those years?’ They will say before Him: ‘Master of the universe, were it not for Your Torah that You gave us, the nations would have caused our demise.’ That is why it is stated: “This (zot) I will reply to my heart,” and zot is nothing other than Torah, as it is stated: “And this [vezot] is the Torah” (Deuteronomy 4:44). Likewise, David said: “Had Your Torah not been my delight, I would have perished in my affliction” (Psalms 119:92). “Therefore I have hope” in Him, and we proclaim the unity of His name twice daily and say: “Hear Israel, the Lord is our God, the Lord is one” (Deuteronomy 6:4).
Midrash Tehillim
"If I did not believe in seeing the goodness of the Lord. Zevadi the son of Levi said: Any place where it is stated 'if not for the merit of the forefathers' and the verse (Genesis 43:10) states 'for had we not delayed.' We ourselves would not have gone from there in peace except for the merit of the forefathers. Rabbi Yochanan said: Every 'if not for' is due to the merit of the Almighty, as it says (Isaiah 1:9) 'if not for the Lord of hosts.' Rabbi Levi said: It is due to the merit of the Torah, as it says (Psalms 119:92) 'If Your Torah had not been my delight.' And it is due to the merit of faith, 'If I did not believe in seeing the goodness of the Lord.'
Shemot Rabbah
Another matter, “and you, draw…near to you,” that is what is written: “Had Your Torah not been my delight, I would have perished in my affliction” (Psalms 119:92). When the Holy One blessed be He said to Moses: “And you, draw…near to you,” [Moses] was upset. [God] said to him: ‘I had a Torah, and I gave it to you. Were it not for it, I would have eliminated My world.’
This is analogous to a wise man who took his relative [as a wife] and she spent ten years with him but did not bear children.6As such, he was required to take another wife in order to fulfill his obligation to have children (see Yevamot 64a). He said to her: ‘Seek me a wife.’ He said to her: ‘I could take without your permission, but I am requesting your forbearance.’7As a sign of respect to his wife, he asked her consent and assistance in choosing an additional wife. So too, the Holy One blessed be He said to Moses: ‘I could have selected your brother High Priest without your knowledge, but I sought that you should be his superior.’
“From among the children of Israel” – from all the lands, the Holy One blessed be He chose the Land of Israel. From the Land of Israel, He chose the Temple. From the Temple, He chose only the chamber of the Holy of Holies. Similarly, the Holy One blessed be He chose Israel. From Israel, He chose only the tribe of Levi. From the tribe of Levi, He chose Aaron, as it is stated: “And choose him from all the tribes of Israel” (I Samuel 2:28). Teruma is on one side and tithe on one side.8Teruma is of a higher degree of sanctity and is given to the priests; the tithe is given to Levites (Matnot Kehuna). Nadav and Avihu are on one side and Elazar and Itamar on one side. Elazar and Itamar were chosen, as it is stated: “And choose him from all the tribes of Israel.” That is why it is stated: “Happy is the one You choose to bring near You to dwell in Your courtyards” (Psalms 65:5).
This is analogous to a wise man who took his relative [as a wife] and she spent ten years with him but did not bear children.6As such, he was required to take another wife in order to fulfill his obligation to have children (see Yevamot 64a). He said to her: ‘Seek me a wife.’ He said to her: ‘I could take without your permission, but I am requesting your forbearance.’7As a sign of respect to his wife, he asked her consent and assistance in choosing an additional wife. So too, the Holy One blessed be He said to Moses: ‘I could have selected your brother High Priest without your knowledge, but I sought that you should be his superior.’
“From among the children of Israel” – from all the lands, the Holy One blessed be He chose the Land of Israel. From the Land of Israel, He chose the Temple. From the Temple, He chose only the chamber of the Holy of Holies. Similarly, the Holy One blessed be He chose Israel. From Israel, He chose only the tribe of Levi. From the tribe of Levi, He chose Aaron, as it is stated: “And choose him from all the tribes of Israel” (I Samuel 2:28). Teruma is on one side and tithe on one side.8Teruma is of a higher degree of sanctity and is given to the priests; the tithe is given to Levites (Matnot Kehuna). Nadav and Avihu are on one side and Elazar and Itamar on one side. Elazar and Itamar were chosen, as it is stated: “And choose him from all the tribes of Israel.” That is why it is stated: “Happy is the one You choose to bring near You to dwell in Your courtyards” (Psalms 65:5).